So, Mrs. Evangelical…you use birth control, heh? And you think God’s letting you through those pearly gates?

I’ve got an evangelical friend, we’ll call her Gabriella.  Gab and I didn’t go to college together, but we did spend our first years teaching together.  Those years were hard; we leaned on each other for moral uplift in a district that, at the time, was failing all peoples involved.  Of all the friends I have, Gabriella is really a jewel and I love her so–and miss her–so much!

She lives a couple of states away, and I”m still trucking it out in the great state of Missouri

What makes my friend Gabby so interesting is that while she is a conservative evangelical christian, she also makes no apologies for her use of birth control; and why should she?  She has her religion and then she has her common sense her, well, she has a perspective that makes sense.

“Why would I want children right now,” she says.  “My husband and I haven’t even been married for five years!  I’d like to spend some time with him, travel with him, love only him for a while.  And then, perhaps, kids.

Of course other family members don’t quite see it that way.                                          Marriage gets you sex, sex gets you kids–and gets me grandkids!  But my friend stands her ground: my choice, my time.  Until then, Gabby and her hubby frolic in their love den with the best baby inhibitor’s that science has made!

I teaser her about the whole “be fruitful and multiply” mantra that so easily falls off the evangelical tongue these days.  I am told simply that she loves god, and she loves life; in balancing both her fruitfulness will simply have to wait.

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This is the birth of the moderate christian, and its a beautiful birth to see indeed.  How often do get to see a group of faith-believing young people say, aloud, we love god, but this just doesn’t make sense for us right now.  We aren’t Atheist, but we don’t want to follow this rule right now, and that doesn’t make us bad.

I’m proud of those Christians who keep their faith while recognizing some of the less attractive parts of the faith as well.   This is how a faith evolves, matures, tempers.

If god won’t let a parent into heaven for waiting to be a better mom or dad, for choosing to cultivate a strong marriage before adding children to the mix, then that God isn’t  making a whole lot of sense.

Have you considered how your light is spent?

Although John Milton wrote this famous Italian Sonnet a year after being blinded, there are  people who suggest that his message was more about how one’s time is spent on Earth, not about re-c0nnecting with God.

We’ve read this poem, analyzed it, and debated it  in my AP English Literature class,  and I still think it can go either way.

I wanted to share it with The Secular Parent because of Milton’s eloquent use of language, and because of the enduring questions it presents; his poem can easily be applied to parenting and family circumstances.  Namely, do we spend our time as parents wisely?  Do we encourage our young ones to pay attention to how they spend their time?  And finally, do harp too much on time?

Ahh…the questions never end!

When I Consider How My Light Is Spent

by John Milton

When I consider how my light is spent,
   Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
   And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
   My true account, lest He returning chide;
   "Doth God exact day-labor, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
   Either man's work or His own gifts. Who best
   Bear His mild yoke, they serve Him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at His bidding speed,
   And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
   They also serve who only stand and wait."
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This lovely poem reminds me that its not a matter of what happens when I die; what matters is how I use the time that I have.

Have you considered how your light is spent?

Happy Carl Sagan Day!!

Credit for this set of videos comes from The Primate Diaries, an awesome science blog.  They posted his final interview, and I must say, he was as sharp as ever!  It relates to his book, The Demon Haunted World.  Check it out… Carl Sagan’s birthday is Monday…..