Cogs, trolleys and jellybeans: a 21st-century board game for ages 7 and up

You know, sometimes it’s important for parents to realize that times are a changing.

Take games for example.  When you and I were young–for those of us born before 1985–we played games on cardboard, with paper and pencil, with little pieces.

Those games still exist–thank goodness!–but most kids prefer the click of a mouse to a pencil.  In elementary classrooms, computer games are used to teach basic facts, and computer games offer a fun way to enhance reading skills, and basic scientific and geographic knowledge.

And of course, computer games are also for good of fashioned “lax time.”

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It started by word of mouth.

“Mom, the next time we go online, can we go to Toontown.com so that we could play Toontown?”

“What’s Toontown?”

“Sharon plays it at her house and we got to play when we went over there.  It was so fun!  You got to be an animal (Sharon was a rabbit), and you got a house, and you could make friends…”

Her description of the cartoon world would never end; the hubby and I heard about Toontown for two more weeks.  The girls already had their favorite websites: nickjr.com, noggin.com (which has now been taken over by the latter), disney fairies, and agame.com (this one requires monitoring/scanning of games).  From there you have the learning sites: starfall.com (for reading), funbrain.com (math, reading, and everything else), and spaceplace (NASA).  But every time the girls wanted to sit down at the computer, it was only Toontown they wanted to play.

But we simply didn’t have the time to check out the site, create profiles, set parental controls, etc; we were in the middle of buying a house!

But the children were relentless–not once did they let me forget that it had been 2 days, 5 days, a week and more since I agreed to go online and check it out with them.

When the time came, I could see no red flags: it was essentially a role-player game online, made by Disney.  The main goal of the game is to protect Toontown from the Cogs, the “evil robot businesspeople types that have invaded Toontown.”  To get rid of the Cogs, you have to make them happier.  You do this, oddly enough, by using gags, which you buy with jelly beans, the only currency used in Toontown.  You get jelly beans by riding the trolley, fishing, or playing other games in Toontown).

So I helped each kid set up their own (free) account, game time was monitored, and addicts they became!  They love Toontown—–

And for those of you RPG players, you know the addiction is real.  I’m in the middle of Dragon Age of Origins, and playing it is quite the ecstasy 🙂

To Pay or not to pay? (Membership in Toontown)

Of course Disney isn’t going to offer a full-fledged online multiplayer game for free without a few carrots to draw in a few bucks; enter the household debate: Can we have a membership to Toontown?

Membership in Toontown costs $4.95 for the first month, and $9.95 for each additional month.

I said no outright.  “You’ve been playing for six months without a membership, you’ve had a great time, and you’ve never been upset before.”

This was a condescending and disrespectful thing to say to them–in addition to being a logical fallacy.  Just because they were happy before playing the game without membership did not mean that their current unhappiness was invalid.

What I should have said to the girls was how can you come up with a way to get the money needed every month for the subscription?  This encourages critical thinking and forces them to realize the power of even a few dollars.

Now I know that  games such as these are designed to let you only go so high, only interact superficially with the online world–until you pay for full access.  I’ve had those same feelings of disappointment when I realized how the scope of my play was limited without membership.  But I chose to NOT get an online subscription because I didn’t think they’re  worth “my allowance”.

But the children did have this as an option.  My girls get an allowance: $10 every two weeks, $1 of which must be put into a savings account.  That leaves $18 left for them to spend anyway they want.  So, I presented the option to the girls.

They accepted instantly.

Since each subscription will be $9.95 (of course there are no family packages that I’ve been able to find), I told their girls that each allowance I will take $5 bucks from their net amount (after they put their savings in).  They can keep the subscription until they don’t want to spend THEIR money on it anymore.

Today is the first day they’ve been able to play the full game.  Since Kansas City is snowed in (and has been for the last week), this is a welcome addition to the cabin fever of the present.

At the hubby’s request, they’ve been given extra game time (a significant amount).  He says that since they’ve paid for a game, they should at least be able to make themselves  intoxicated with it the first day–then they can go back to their normal routine.

I agreed.

If you haven’t heard of Toontown, there’s a good chance your kid has.  I think its a good, safe interactive game for young minds, and kids think its fun!  No book learning, but making friends, collecting things for their home, buying pets–it’s a wonderful life on Toontown!  Every now and then, I’ll notice a toon named “Ben’s mommy” or something like that–even parents gravitate……

monitor, monitor, monitor—and let your kid have a little fun!

You can learn more about the game at the toontown FAQ website.

SIDENOTE:  Yes, I have my gripes with Disney.  I could do with less pretty, perfect, white princesses who hate their life.  And even though I adore the Mulan Series, and I certainly have my favorite Disney movies ( I can’t STAND Pocahontas!), this game I can tolerate because it has nothing to do with movies!

The Outlier: 17, pregnant and happy

America has the highest teenage pregnancy rate of the developed world; we also have the highest teen abortion rate, at nearly 17 per 1,000 (1.7%) Nearly eight in ten of teenage pregnancies are unintended and the mothers are unmarried.

Yea, we’ve gotten better since the 90’s, but we still have work to do.

I’ve spent years telling my girls about the negative effects of teenage pregnancy, and they’re only eight and nine!  But a self-reflective parent knows that there’s always two sides to a coin.  Now I find myself questioning, what if I’m wrong?  What if, in a best-case scenario, 17 and pregnant turns out to be a good thing?

Case in point: I know a young lady who is 17 and currently with child.  I find myself at odds with how I discuss her case with my girls; they know her very well.  Sometimes, I’m totally happy for her; she is mature, forward thinking, and has been given essentially the same kind of realistic, secular parenting that I try to give my girls, and yet she CHOSE motherhood.

I cap my letters because it’s true: her parents talked with her exhaustively about birth control, safe sex and the like.  She knew where the local planned parenthood was, and she’d even counseled a friend who had become pregnant at her school.

She, at 17, is taking college classes and essentially done with high school–>having graduated one of the top in her class.  And yet, she gave all that up to be a mommy in short order.

So then, does 17 and pregnant mean that life is over?  I’ve always told my girls the answer is yes.  Yes, if you get “knocked up” as a teen-ager, life will be more difficult:

* your free time will be gone–infants OWN their parents

* deciding that you no longer want the responsibility (that extends well beyond the 18 years our law mandates) is not an option–without SERIOUS consequences

* traveling–out of the question

* social life–non existent

* college?—> Not the first year, if you value sanity

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And then there are the outliers, the ones that make us believe it is possible to be have a wonderful, joyous life, young and pregnant.  The young lady I know is a perfect example.

But outliers are just that, they lie outside the norm.  Yes, you can be 17 and pregnant, and have it be a good thing for the mother and father in question.  There are dozens of cases where a young girl hunkers down at 16 or 17 with her high school sweetheart, they have a truckload of kids, and generally they live happily ever after.

Should we tell our young girls about these outliers…should they count?

Of course they should, and they do.

Outliers give useful information to young people; they let them know that if they are hell bent on making a decision that goes against modern wisdom, results can sometimes favor the gambler.

But I’ve made it clear to my girls, don’t be fooled by the Bill Gates’ of the world: deciding against college, not graduating high school, getting pregnant young, or jumping headfirst into other dangerous territory usually backfires.

The odds are stacked against the teenage mother.  I certainly wish my young friend all the best of luck and happiness in life; she is brilliant, strong-willed, and able to persevere should times get rough–and I gather they might.

Nevertheless, I told my girls that teenage pregnancy was a path that I would advise against; ultimately though parents, the choice rests with them—

Why?  Chances are, we won’t be around when they decided to “become a woman”.  We have to trust that we have given them the best possible information, and secured for them the most current options on all fronts.  From there all we parents can do is watch.

Does it really matter if Obama goes to church on Christmas? (Here's a hint: no)

As I sloshed through the internet last night, I came across an article on CNSnews.com  The headline, “White House Doesn’t Know If Obama Will Attend Church on Christmas”, had me shrugging my shoulders.

Who the hell cares if Obama will go to church on Christmas?

This man is responsible for running our country–which I might add is on the brink of utter collapse–and his Christmas habits are of issue?

He’s a bit busy–> We shouldn’t hold missing “Sunday services” against him.

I confused about how going to church on Sunday will positively contribute to the president accomplishing his goals for America.  Is it a surprise that an intelligent black man is running to God because that’s what everybody else is doing?

President Obama’s chief role model, Abraham Lincoln didn’t go to church on a regular basis.  It’s no secret that Lincoln abhorred attending church–though he did desire a relationship with God.  In fact, when he was running for election, he was often referred to as an atheist for refusing to have a church home and attend regularly.  Is top political adviser told Lincoln that he risked losing the election as a result of his lack of religious zeal.  And yet Lincoln invoked God and his divine plan repeatedly during his life; you can want a relationship with God that doesn’t include organized religion.

Obama is like Lincoln in many respects, including his religious “devotion.”

And yet, my lovely little find of an article made no qualms about their true goal, which was to throw another layer of hate toward those listeners whose mind is already convinced of Mr. Obama’s “evilness.”  Fred Lucas’ article invoked the toxic Rev. Wright, President Obama’s former pastor, spending more than half the article recanting Rev. Wrights stupidity(and of course, they also did NOT discuss the presidents rebuttal of Wright’s tragic lingo).

Lucas also gave the article a nice taste of Carey Cash, the chaplain at Camp David.  But jow EITHER of these two gentlemen fit into President Obama’s decision to go to church on Christmas is completely irrelevant.  Apparently, Lucas thinks that his audience isn’t smart enough to spot a red herring when they see one.

I could care less whether President Obama and his family attends church on Christmas, any more than I care if he fasts during Ramadan; none of this is a determining factor of whether or not he will be a productive, efficient and smart leader.

We know that there are people who go to church on a regular basis, but are not affected by the beauty found in congregating with like-minded people.  There are individuals as well who rarely attend church, yet they have a devotion for Christ that basks in a warm glow.  We see God (the good, kind one, that is) in all their actions and motivations–yet church they disdain.

Going to church doesn’t make you a “good Christian.”  Christianity, like all faiths, is supposed to help you create a relationship with the maker, if that’s your belief.   But really that’s it.  It doesn’t “mean” anything other than our president has a relationship with God that doesn’t require a church to validate.

Isn’t that a good thing?

Does it really matter if Obama goes to church on Christmas? (Here’s a hint: no)

As I sloshed through the internet last night, I came across an article on CNSnews.com  The headline, “White House Doesn’t Know If Obama Will Attend Church on Christmas”, had me shrugging my shoulders.

Who the hell cares if Obama will go to church on Christmas?

This man is responsible for running our country–which I might add is on the brink of utter collapse–and his Christmas habits are of issue?

He’s a bit busy–> We shouldn’t hold missing “Sunday services” against him.

I confused about how going to church on Sunday will positively contribute to the president accomplishing his goals for America.  Is it a surprise that an intelligent black man is running to God because that’s what everybody else is doing?

President Obama’s chief role model, Abraham Lincoln didn’t go to church on a regular basis.  It’s no secret that Lincoln abhorred attending church–though he did desire a relationship with God.  In fact, when he was running for election, he was often referred to as an atheist for refusing to have a church home and attend regularly.  Is top political adviser told Lincoln that he risked losing the election as a result of his lack of religious zeal.  And yet Lincoln invoked God and his divine plan repeatedly during his life; you can want a relationship with God that doesn’t include organized religion.

Obama is like Lincoln in many respects, including his religious “devotion.”

And yet, my lovely little find of an article made no qualms about their true goal, which was to throw another layer of hate toward those listeners whose mind is already convinced of Mr. Obama’s “evilness.”  Fred Lucas’ article invoked the toxic Rev. Wright, President Obama’s former pastor, spending more than half the article recanting Rev. Wrights stupidity(and of course, they also did NOT discuss the presidents rebuttal of Wright’s tragic lingo).

Lucas also gave the article a nice taste of Carey Cash, the chaplain at Camp David.  But jow EITHER of these two gentlemen fit into President Obama’s decision to go to church on Christmas is completely irrelevant.  Apparently, Lucas thinks that his audience isn’t smart enough to spot a red herring when they see one.

I could care less whether President Obama and his family attends church on Christmas, any more than I care if he fasts during Ramadan; none of this is a determining factor of whether or not he will be a productive, efficient and smart leader.

We know that there are people who go to church on a regular basis, but are not affected by the beauty found in congregating with like-minded people.  There are individuals as well who rarely attend church, yet they have a devotion for Christ that basks in a warm glow.  We see God (the good, kind one, that is) in all their actions and motivations–yet church they disdain.

Going to church doesn’t make you a “good Christian.”  Christianity, like all faiths, is supposed to help you create a relationship with the maker, if that’s your belief.   But really that’s it.  It doesn’t “mean” anything other than our president has a relationship with God that doesn’t require a church to validate.

Isn’t that a good thing?

The verbal lashing–are "bad words" allowed?

I sometimes wonder if I’m too liberal.

For instance, we have policy on cuss words in our house: using cuss words around adults is not a good idea.  That’s it.  That’s the rule.  Pretty vague, huh?  YUP!  That gives me the parent an opportunity to both instill a virtue Thall shall not cuss! and be completely fucking honest when the situation calls for it!  Any of these phrases sound familiar:

“If you cuss, you’ll go to hell” (pastor)

“Good girls don’t have dirty mouths” (grandma)

“We will be upstanding citizens with upstanding mouths!” (cub scout leader)

“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain!” (some random person on a bent)

I could go on.  We tell kids–as soon as they can formulate sentences–that cussing is bad.  So, what will they naturally do when the come together, away from adults?  Cuss!  From the time they learn that cussing is socially unacceptable, until they are adults and have the right to govern themselves, your average kid has a bit of a potty mouth from time to time.  It’s stupid of me as a parent to say that I can control my daughter’s tongue when she’s not around me.

But this post really isn’t about kids cussing, it’s about adults cussing–at kids.

I hate parents that cuss out their young ones; it’s so sad to see a kid in the store getting chewed out–and watching slobber hit their face as their parent spews ugliness in their direction.  Not only is it demeaning to the child, but it really casts a poor light on the parent as well.

Sometimes thought,  using a dirty word can let a kid know that they’ve gone too far, and I found myself yesterday engaging in a verbal lashing with my 9-year old.  I didn’t spew, but I did let a few slip–did I go too far?

She’s in competition with my niece, who is about three years her junior.  Anytime my niece says anything, does anything, my daughter yells rude comments: “that’s not true!  You’re wrong, God, you don’t know anything!”

These are hurtful things.  My niece is socially not up to speed, and she just doesn’t get things sometimes.  My girls and I have had this conversation; my suggestion: change the subject.  If they can find common understanding, the conversation will naturally be a more productive one.   Still, my youngest persists in being mean at every turn.

So, first it was damn it that slipped.  Then shit.

Every time she said something to my niece, I ended up saying something to her–and it wasn’t a pretty something.   I was angry, stressed (the house finally closed yesterday), and I we were all hungry.  But she was also being purposely hurtful, insensitive, and rude.  She deserved a verbal lashing.

I didn’t apologize–not this time.  My daughter was being an asshole butt.  And for the first time I felt like she was being a jerk, and she deserved my “verbal abuse”.

And yes, most of you out there will say I’m wrong, but I’m not.  Children need to know that you too can get fed up with their “attitude”, and sometimes, there’s nothing left.  My daughter isn’t little anymore, she almost 10.  She’s old enough to know when she’s being purposely hurtful, and she should be reprimanded for it.

Will it change her attitude toward her little cousin?  Probably not.  We’ve decided to separate them whenever possible; my daughter gets the joy and quiet solitude of her room–unless she can figure out how to say something kind once in a while.

Of course, parenting books won’t teach us that–in parenting books, parents never get fed up.  Parents never cuss.  In the really world, sometimes, a verbal lashing is an order.